no time

i hvent blogged in agess

i'll update sometime
life now is full of bullshit..

enough said..

fireflies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aI4JLa0hbUw
i love this new song
it calms me down when i'm anxious or paranoid..
and it gives me the warm and
fuzzy feeling on the inside..

these days, i've been so busy
running around
and training for work
that i sometimes even forget to breathe..

procrastination days are indeed, over
i just hope i survive..

from her.

i don't know why
but i seem to like indie
these days

maybe because of the peace
and solemnity that it offers..

and that is all i need
right now..
in fact, that's all i ever
needed..

leave all your loving, all your loving behind
you can't carry it if you want to survive..

motto of the day

life gives us
a hundred reasons
to frown and cry

&& Jesus gives us
a thousand reason
to be enlightened
and smile

got ink?

i am considering getting a tattoo
i always wanted some sort of writing
something similar to the picture above..

i thought what it would say
i thought it should be something
of a significant meaning
then something popped onto my head

a prayer.
a prayer that my mom has taught me
since i could remember
and up to this date
i still recite it
every night before i go to sleep..

angel of God, my guardian dear
to whom His love, commits me here
ever this day, be at my side
to light and guard, to rule and guide
amen.

damn straight!

last year i did an oral presentation
for an english communication task
i did it on spoken word poetry (if you're curious search it up)
&& this duo just inspired me to do so..



at the end of the year, i've got an A for english
and i was even lucky enough to speak to this duo,
Yellow Rage through myspace :D
&& they were quite pleased that they've inspired me..

it's a beautiful day

last night i wished that
tomorrow would be a good morning
and today i found myself waking up
into a view of a welcoming sunrise
and it was a good morning, indeed

i think it was about time,
that the sun comes out
this small, poor island
had been slaughtered and drenched
by the continuous arrival of different typhoons.
but what matters is that all is well
and that we survived
and we thank God for that..

thanks to you

what you said to me was eye-opening
it's time for a big change..
i was not brought up to be this way
therefore i should start acting
like how i did back then..

i said nothings left to keep me motivated
but i was definitely wrong
i completely forgotten
that from the start,
i only wanted to make her proud..
&& that i was doing this for her and only for her..
that should be enough to keep me motivated

thanks for reminding me of that..
you sir, are a very good friend indeed.
Peter Li

one wish.

if i could have anything right now,
it would be peace of mind
and happiness..
and for a brief three and a bit minutes
this song gave me just that..

what's left?

everyday is like a battle
and i'm struggling to survive

it's not any ordinary battle
as i fight against the dark..

every single day sadness lingers through
loneliness has overtaken
and emptiness pierced through what's
left of my broken heart..

i may sound like an optimist
but an optimists still thinks negative
and at times i have negative thoughts
that may even beat a pessimist's

i write positive things because
that's what i want to see
i says nice things
because that's what i want to hear
which indeed, made me delusional..

now, what's left of me?
it's a body, so empty
yet it moves, it functions
not because it wants to
but because it needs to..

somebody save me..

go forth! and live

crying does not
indicate weakness..
it is an indication of strength!

since birth, it has always
been a sign that we are alive!

live your life..

i lived a fulfilling life when i was back in Adelaide..

during that time, i felt that i was actually living
for a purpose..
i felt that all was real, and felt that i belonged.

now, i'm back here in the Philippines, and i did, i ones
thought of giving up but surprisingly.. i did not.
why? for no certain reason.
just thought i should follow the rule of life and that is to keep
going and to pursue what i first started.

i now feel like a nobody
living in a strange place, where from the start, i did not feel
that i belong. but with that challenge presented, why give up now??
when i've already started something beautiful and established a great
beginning. giving up is never an option, it has been but i was wise enough not to choose that option, because if i did..
it would have been like throwing it all away, what i've established along with the memories and friendships that were formed.

since birth, we were all presented with the same challenge, and that is to live
our lives, it all just depends to each and everyone of us on how we live it
and what path we will choose along the way.

these days, i've been having a storm of thoughts, everything that i encounter
makes me think of what life could be or have been.. having a chat with Peter and reading his blog made me think a lot more.

i thought that the past was great or even perhaps, beautiful and because of that thought, we think we already know it all, experienced it all and lived it all
but we actually do not, we have not experienced enough and therefore we still know nothing..

we are all still young, and we still have a lot ahead of us
and i have to be honest and say that i would not mind re-living the
past, it would be great but we can not live on the thought of how beautiful
the past had been but instead to keep swinging, form new memories and live the present in order to discover the mystery of what lies ahead, because the past may have been great but it was only a beginning of something much greater..


it's a start of a revolution called freedom..

P.S. life is easy..
people just make it extremely difficult
with that thought in mind
we have to fight and we should not be defeated
we have to keep going
and take whatever challenges presented along the way
and set whatever mistakes we have aside..

&& always remember, that the mistakes
that we make, made and will make
are only mistakes unless we learn from it..

no lettuce please..

it's the simple things like these..
that make my day..

silence

silence, something oh so silent
was something we can never have..

P.S. thank God ones again
because you made everything possible
and for leading a new typhoon into
a different direction..

oh man!

i slept to the sound of people singing karaoke
and found myself waking up this morning to the
sound of people singing karaoke..

seriously man, WTF is wrong with people??

and to ruin such a beautiful "Jason Mraz - I'm Yours"
song, by mumbling through the whole song
and making fun of the lyrics
to me, it was all just unforgiveable

from the future

#4 - EverLust. says:
oh im great, its been a couple of years hasnt it? the last i remember i was doing commcerce at uni, i've graduated and now working as a doctor in sydney, you need to meet my girlfriend, shes excellent. Hows life for you? coming back to Adelaide anytime soon? i'll come back too. Andys still in high school and michael is now working as a carpenter, mum is doing well, we all live seperately now, andy and michael are still in adelaide, and if you dont believe it andy and jacky are now married within twins. hows life going for you? become that cheif yet?
dan vincent says:
yeah i actually am, working full time in a 5 star hotel in manila it's called, Trinoma Hotel. Working is tiring but at the same time fulfilling. i should be getting my visa by next week so i will be definitely be coming back.. it's been such a long time hey? but it seems like a few years just went by just like that.. i'm looking forward to seeing you all and also seeing the twins, they must be
adorable
why thats very good to hear.. from just doing commerce and now a doctor?
#4 - EverLust. says:
they named the twins peanut and the girl sconnes
yeh, its strange how life works isnt it? one day your here and the next your there
dan vincent says:
yeah so true.. but i guess things would be back where they're suppose to be.. and i think when we want something, we actually have to work hard for it, it makes us learn how to appreciate it better
peanut and sconnes? interesting choice
#4 - EverLust. says:
i would agree, not bad names. oh and after years of practicing my faith, i now can fly and teleport and shoot fire balls as i wish. (:
dan vincent says:
teleport? i want to see you demonstrate
and why not share the blessings
you couldve teleported here and taken me back
*sigh peter
#4 - EverLust. says:
oh magic has its own laws, if i did that, i'd be banished and you would be sent somewhere beyond reach, it was for our own good
i also met harry potter, showed him who was magical and fucked him up. (:
dan vincent says:
oh i guess, with great power comes great responsibilties? and laws??
lmfao harry potter got schooled
noice work
#4 - EverLust. says:
so you'll be back next week right?
dan vincent says:
should be if nothing goes wrong
we all just have to remain faithful

bring it!

you are now reading the blog
of a future chef..

i am just so ready to do this
to enter the hospitality and culinary arts workforce
and to be back under pressure!!

i'm gonna need a lot of optimism
and positive thinking to pull through

but right now all i'm gonna say is
let's do this mother!

&& being a part of something special
makes you special

a start

previews events happened
in the past week.

they are all very much extreme
and my simple mind
can not help but wonder..

could this be a beginning of
something horrible?
perhaps, an apocalypse??

here in the Philippines,
people are dying as of yesterday
flash floods have vacated the streets
and have emptied homes of many innocent people

in Sydney, Australia
red dust and red sky..

and in California, USA
the extreme heat

it all sounds scary
but at times like these
we have nothing to do
but to remain faithful..

at the end of the day
God works in his own mysterious way..

let it flow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEHlOqA3N4E

it's a new day
and it feels like woah!


dont stop until it feels like woah!
let the optimism flow...

unknown

i love the unknown

because if all was discovered
and known..
then what else could be the
purpose of life itself??

what matters

i am dan vincent jolo (pasamba)
18 years of age
of a filipino decent
but very much australian in the heart.

and i am free

enough said.

everlong

if everything could ever feel this good forever
if everything could ever feel this real again.

thanks sandy.

differences

i entered a new world
and stepped into a place
where i felt like a total alien
where i feel uncomfortable
unsafe and very much different.

a place where when you say: "bless you!"
when someone sneezes, but you don't get "thank you!"
but instead a dagger

a place where people give way to vehicles..

a place where when you smile at someone
you get a frown back
and perhaps, they may even think that you're a total retard.

a place where i feel distant from everyone else
a place away from home
away from my comfort zone

i guess from time to time, it's better
to live outside of your comfort zone
because that way, we learn new things
and we learn to live and appreciate things better.

but at the end of the day, i am just an alien
who wants to come back to his own planet.

beautiful day

it's the times like these we
learn to live again..


to kelly and everyone,
thanks for everything,
you guys never fail to make me feel special

&& also
i love you..

few words.

"hey you!
yeah you!

you mean, selfish, old bastard!

here's a few words for you..

this is my story
and you're not a part of it"

let's try to bring it back..

"i wish i could go back to the past *sniffs
what i wouldn't give..


what i wouldn't give *sniffs"
-Pete, Kingdom Hearts 2

it's funny how even villains want to go back to the past.
i guess somewhere in every human's minds, whoever you may be
has the desire to relive the past

some may even desire not only to relive and experience it ones again
but to stay in it forever..

life is wonderful

i just realized that we learn to appreciate things better
when we're at the point of struggling in order to get it back

and that's life's wonder
we all have to go through certain challenges in order
to achieve what we've always wanted.

and when we already have it, we'll learn to grasp it
real tight and never let the opportunity to get away..

also i think we all have to live our day like it's our last,
because no one and i mean no one
is guaranteed another day..

NOTE TO SELF: I'M TOO FLY TO BE DEPRESSED!

*giggles

thoughts

if we all just learn to set our thoughts aside
and all learn to follow our hearts

then nothing else should matter..

kingdom hearts

is the best invention that Square Enix and Disney created.


it is perfect in every way, and it comes with the best motivational speeches

"i want to line up the pieces.. yours and mine"
and "what's important is not how often we see each other,
but how often we think about each other"

simply amazing!

it's a bummer that the third discs comes out on ps3
i sure do hope that it comes out on xbox 360..

eugh.

nobody - wonder girls

i always hated this song, it's so popular here
hrmm i now think that the lamer the song gets,
the more popular it becomes..

but last night on the news, it was reported that a teenager was bashed to death by a group, only for the reason that he did not know the title of the song.
i now have a better reason for hating this stupid, oh so stupid song..
and also this world has gone completely mad..

happiness

was something oh something
that we can never have...

that perception has to change now.



because the smile on this pig's face
should remind us that there are many things
that we should be happy about..

p.s. the sun never rises in manila yet it sets ><"


bring in the good times
and put a halt into the bad times!

you sir are despicable!

i can't help but wonder what it would be like
if you were the one who left instead of her...

i think things would have been a lot better..

i despise you, more and more each day.. and i'm hanging to a little bit of respect that i have left for you
and i hope that i don't lose that too..

save me

i've let my guard down, i have been weak
i should have not turned back, but i did.

what ever happens next, i just hope
that i'm a lot stronger to face it

mad world

the world has gone mad

why? and i mean why and how would a mother
could drown her four children into a nearby lake?

doesn't she have any conscience left?
i've always thought that babies were a bundle of joy
but i guess not for other people..

it's a scary thought that even the people
whom you thought would love you the most
could ever do such a thing..

well i am sure that she will face the consequences
of what has been done.. and i'm sure that karma
will now lurk around her life..

p.s. the sun never shines in manila

my sanctuary

utada hikaru
is the definition of perfection




angels are in flight
to my sanctuary
where fears and lies melts away..

you racist!

had a whack conversation with peter last night..
why does he have to be so racist? lol

me: i wana befriend a japanese or korean person whilst im staying here
peter: you sounded just like eric
peter:malaysian and singaporean FTW!
me: well they're pretty cool but they theyre hard to find here, they just look exactly the same as filos
peter: eww don't say that
me: 0___0 u fag!
me: i've been to malaysia so i know alrite??
peter: well me and you both know that we will never marry a filo
peter: so we're both on the "eww" side
me: ROFL so true LMFAO
me: i wanna marry like an asian australian
me: or a caucasian australian
peter: LOL ns same here
peter: damn i don't even notice when i'm being racist
me: well people are naturally born racist.. everyone does it

lol keep the whack convos going..
it keeps me happy :D

good ol Peter
never fails to make me laugh

make me smile

this is ridiculous but she did this for my birthday
dyed her hair blonde because she promised me to
i didn't think that she would but i guess at the end of the day it was a promise <3

it proved me that friends stick to their promises whatever the consequences maybe, and tramhamjam is definitely a true friend that is worth sticking to.

to tram quynh le, i love you and i miss you
thanks for putting a smile on my face
and for making my day <3
*LUBS*

the big 1 8

how did i celebrate my bday?
well dad organised a family gathering thing to celebrate it last night,
i got to see cousins that i havent seen in years and also aunties and uncles..
i appreciate all dad's efforts but it would have been a much better 18th if i was back in Adelaide *sigh i do miss Adelaide wayy too much.. later today i'm just gonna go to church, see if the priest's preaching would be any good..

this morning, i woke up and had a very fuzzy feeling.. one of those warm but good feelings.. dad forgot to greet me happy birthday but i completely disregard of that.. and on the way here (internet cafe) it started raining so here i am completely soaked and drenched in water.. great birthday don't you think? well i took it as God showered me more blessings for this year <3

at the end of the day i think birthdays are just one of those days that add another year into ones life, it's great because you get a lot of attention and everything else from everyone but the question is, why can't birthdays be everyday? where people would be nice to you despite the fact that it's your birthday or not..

well yeah i'm not really complaining, i did not get any presents this year (shows how pov and stingey filos are LOL) but yeah the facebook comments and cellphone messages were more than enough, it did make this day a special one..

and plus i found this..


"isn't she lovely? isn't she wonderful?"
first words that went pass my mind when i found it..
i think it's her birthday present for me
which made my day a special one..
i'd treat it as the best birthday present <3

could it be any harder??

"it's been months but still here counting the minutes when i'm not there.. && every inch of me is bruised.."


NOTE TO SELF: STAY STRONG, STAY POSITIVE and GOD DAMN IT! KEEP GOING!

a letter from the anonymous

one more day in the country side
i decided to make the best out of it.. went to church today
and went to have halo halo (a filipino dessert) with some friends,
cousins and brother also i decided to clean around my mom's grave
and cleared all the weeds. it was an eventful day.

tomorrow i'll be back in the city, i'm not looking forward to it
but i needed to make a start sooner or later and i decided that the day
would be tomorrow. sometime today i was looking through stuff on my computer
and tried to see if i can find something that would motivate me. i found heaps of photos and it did bring back many good memories... but then i found a letter, a letter from a good friend who i'd just rather name anonymous in order to keep the privacy.

"Vince its been a pleasure having you with us the past 3 months.
We got to know eachother better and shared many fun moments. Your a great friend and im glad i had the opportunity to get to know you better. I feel so bad and sorry that your leaving, nobody should have to go through this, and i know you have to stay strong for your brother but at times like this, when you have unanswered questions and many angered thoughts and sadness which may suround your days, there is someone out there, above all who you can talk to. Give him a chance, you've oredy accepted him into your life, which is the best decision you've made. Lean on him, talk to him, love him, worship him, and praise him. Because he has all the answers you'll ever need, he'll provide for you, love you, give you everything in his kingdom.
Over the past 3 months you've help build my confidence, singing at karaoke, and funked up my mind trying to get me back with Cherie, but i gues this is the end of that. and i thank you for putting up with our familys constant mocking, and for sticking up for me with the cherie thing that got you and michael into an arguement.
Church has been amazing with you around, It was Gods decision to make me bring you to church, and now ive done that, ive set you back on track, and now its up to you to keep him before everything else. It works, put him first and he'll give you everything that you ask for and more. Its hard and its confusing but one day you'll truly understand why its so vitally important to put him above all things.
I can say that it was the devils doing in parting you with your friends and new families, but no matter what his done, God will always have a plan and a purpose for you, this may not have been his plan but he has a purpose for you. You have potential, speak out to the crowd, change peoples lives just like we've changed yours and just like the message in service, go through Gods fridge anytime you want, you have the authority to heal others and bless people around you.
We're all going to miss you very much, i think ive grown acustomed to you sleeping in my room, its going to be alot more quite and lonely now. but i thank you for being an awsome friend, for coming to church, for eating with me and my friends, for getting to know my friends, for nagging me about cherie, for playing the rating game with me, for karaoke nights, for doing sit ups with me, for everything. your a very special person, especially to God, and although we part now, we'll cross paths again if you keep following God, because me, Cherie, Zoe, Cheryl, Elysia and Melissa will always follow God, and one day we'll definiatly meet.
Your going to have it hard over there and thigns arent going to go the way you hope, and its going to be hard making new friends, so at times like this, talk to God, get to know him better and his purpose for you will provide you the equipment the spirit, the mentality and physical strength you need. Always follow God no matter what the devil puts in your head, no matter the situation, because rememebr God gave his son too, he will always understand.
Jacky wants to use the computer now, i have to leave it at this, but thanks for being a special friend. im very dissapointed that your leaving, we'll keep in touch and crying helps. (Y)

may you be blessed by the Lord always. i'll see you soon.
much love: Anonymous"

this letter did boost my confidence and motivated me to make a start. to the person who wrote this, you know who you are and to be honest if God would give me a chance to have another brother, it would be you. may you be blessed by the Lord as well and i will definitely see you soon. take care!

kagandahan

that word when translated in english, it means beauty

today i had the chance to listen to eminem's latest song
and i'm actually surprised that the song made a lot of sense
no offence to eminem but most of his songs are full of crap

in my shoes, just to see
what its like, to be me
ill be you, lets trade shoes
just to see what id be like
to feel your pain, you feel mine
go inside eachothers minds
just to see what we'd find
look at shit through each others eyes
don't let them say you aint beautiful
they can all get fucked just stay true to you
dont matter saying you aint beautiful
they can all get fucked just stay true to you





amazing is'nt it??

revelry

&& she was the one who all along had a hold of his heart
but all the while she was dreaming of revelry...

eternal love

WE GOT RESCUED BY A MUTE AND A DEAF TODAY!
curious?

well we locked ourselves out of our house with no keys (good work granma!) but my uncle who happens to be deaf decided to grab a ladder and pull out the slides from our window one by one and then a mute kid (i did not know that he was mute until the whole thing finished) decided to help us out. my uncle did a few sign language (well i thought it was from the look of it) and off he goes, he climbed the ladder, went through the small opening in the window and opened the door and there, a mute and deaf saved the day!

just proves that all of us are worthy whatever our circumstance may be.
&& that no circumstance nor disabilities should prevent us from doing what we want to do and lastly, God loves us all (that phrase should sum it all up)

p.s. at the end of it all, they showed a two thumbs up to each other (Y)(Y) and it made me smile.

make it happen

"smile like you mean it!
you never know,
it might do you something good"

my older brother's flight for Australia is in an hour
it's a strange feeling that i have right now.. we never got a long but i hate the fact that we're all going to be separated again. my older brother will be back in Australia, my little brother will be here in the province, finishing his last year of high schooling and then there's me whose going to the city in order to begin the unfolding the mystery that lies ahead of me, to start a new phase in my life. but even though that this will be the case, there's no room for giving up now. i'd say bring it on! let's do this mother!

to my older brother, i wish that you have a safe flight back home... i wish you and my future sister in law the best of everything and all the happiness in this world! bon voyage!


to both of my brothers,
where ever we may be. let's not fail to make her proud, shall we??

time travel

its my family photo
mom was still there
and i can tell that we were happy.
i wonder what happened?
it all seems different now,
not just different but destroyed.

i just wish i can time travel
and relive the days when things were a lot better

P.S. thanks ate jane for sending me this photo
it really meant a lot btw i miss you

la ratatouille

"change is nature.the part that we can influence
and it starts when we decide"

i'm so keen into meeting the person who makes all the speeches from Disney movies..
they somehow always tend to capture me

being faithful.

“Something good may have been taken away from your hands
But keep your head up, because it’s just been emptied
In order for it to receive something better.”

It is indeed a time for a fresh start, a new beginning and a start of a new revelation of a chapter in my life, this is the opportunity to witness as a new mystery unfolds ahead of me. I should not give up, I should not be a pessimist, instead grab this opportunity with both of my bare hands in order to start something better. Why should I give up now? When I have gotten this far? And with God next to me helping me throughout this journey, impossible does not exist.

“My God is mighty to save, he is mighty to save!”

where love lasts forever

i've already been to paradise
yes i have seen it..
there in a place.. where my beloved people dwell
the place is called Adelaide
and it's where the love lasts forever..

&& they all lived happily ever after..

These past few days, a lot of things were to be thanked for. God has been great to my family, my older brother recently got his visa granted by the Australian government and is now destined to come back to Australia in a few days, I am both happy and jealous for him. Happy because he will now be reunited with his fiancée and is about to enter a life of a married couple, also jealous because it may take a few years for me to come back and I am already dying to see my friends back in Adelaide, also my younger brother and his team won championship in basketball, their games were awesome and they played really well, I was a real proud brother when I saw him receiving his gold medal. Now I couldn’t help but think when would I get mine?

These past few days may have been great for my brothers but horrible on my behalf. A few questions came up into my mind and been having thoughts. I began asking, am I being weak? Was I being less faithful? Am I doing anything wrong? I don’t know but it feels like nothing ever turns out right whilst I’m here. To face the fact that none of my Adelaide friends will be around me for quite some time has been real difficult and has impacted me a great deal. How do I survive? I just want someone to confide with, and I don’t even have that. So there I am, most of the time in an internet café for hours desperately looking for someone to have a normal conversation with, just to get away from the harsh reality of life, to get away from the thought of being here and sometimes just to get away from life itself. I knew that moment when I boarded the plane to the Philippines that life would be a lot harder from that point onwards. I was a big mess that day, a lot of things ran pass my mind but despite that, I held onto the good memories just for me to stop the tears from running out of my eyes. I remember Peter ones saying “You should’ve ran away! Something could have happened and perhaps even a miracle!” and upon hearing those words, similar questions again popped onto my head, was I being that weak? Was I being less faithful? What if God gave me that opportunity to explore the mystery that lies ahead of me? What if God already gave me that opportunity to stay in Adelaide in the arms and care of my beloved? I could have just not boarded the plane and ran away from that situation and I could have stayed in Adelaide for a few more days, weeks, months or even perhaps, years. I remember a preacher in worship ones said that God is always around us and he left us a fridge in which we should just open ourselves without asking for it. Now I realised maybe I should not have been such a bitch and taken that advice.

I recently read Peter’s blog and he’s been having family difficulties lately and from the words and sentences that he wrote it felt like we are both going through the same situation. It’s just at times it makes you think that your friends are more loyal and are more worthy to you than your own family. It bothers me that I find myself asking these questions, How would you cope in a family were instead of them being supportive and motivating they tend to bring you down and make you seem hopeless? How would you care for your family when all you can see is their selfish habits? And when one member can say “you should not be too trusting, even friends can backstab you and be a traitor” to me it’s all just too difficult to put up with. I talked to Anna about this and she said “well they clearly have no idea” and I strongly agree with her. I sometimes wonder and think, why do adults especially parents always think their right? Why do they always seem to portray themselves as the best and perfect example to follow when they clearly show that the things that they are doing are either pathetic or simply just wrong? Is that how much age matters now? Just because you’re older regardless of you being pathetic and unreasonable that you are still right and an individual to follow?? At this certain moment and time I proudly and would happily say that my friends are more of a family than what I actually have (apart from my little brother, a few cousins, uncles and aunties and grandma, they all make an exception). The truth hurts but at the end of the day, honesty indeed is the best policy.

Despite all these, I am still more than grateful to our God. What I had back in Adelaide just proved that God loves me and always will. That day will eventually come, I know and I’m sure that it will come, the day were we will all live happily ever after.

motivate me.

watched the second part of brother bear today, well actually i've seen it before so i'd say that this is my second time watching the film, only i was a lot younger the first time i saw it. this time i found myself actually listening to the words that they were actually saying and not just watching the film as it is.

the movie was real inspirational, each word that were expressed actually made so much sense and were very true.. why can't life be just like how it is in disney movies? i know it's fictional but why can't life just be that way?

these words from the movie will now be remembered forever..
"once you loved someone, they will stay in your heart forever.."


oh those sweet words..
i hope they keep coming
i sure do need a lot of motivation to pull through

also thanks Thuong for always leaving a comment..
i do appreciate each one that you leave on here..

even the jelly fish says so..

i never recall the statement.. "with great happiness
comes great devastation"
i know things will be better in time
but for now all i can say is..


enough said.

katy perry

"comparisons are easily made when you've had a taste of perfection.."

so true..
she finally said something that is worth remembering
and listening to..

the waltz

please, that's enough, that's enough
please, i've said this a million times before
and i'm sick..



new favourite song.. hale indeed is my favourite filipino band, they somehow find words and music that captivates one's senses and they sure did in this one..

honesty is the best policy

heck i'm not going to lie anymore, when i say i'm okay.. i'm most likely lying or i just can not be stuffed explaining why i'm not okay..

all i desire now is to come back home, back to the place where i felt i belong.. back to the place where i felt loved.. back to adelaide.

he is awesome, indeed.

10:04 in the morning, Philippine time and currently listening to “Mighty to Save by Hillsong” Man do I love this song? It reminds me of the worship nights with Peter, Cherie, Sarah, Zoe, Cheryl, Elysia and Melissa. Worship nights would have been one of those experiences that I would never forget.







Not only that I was given the chance to meet such an awesome bunch of people but also it’s only the particular time and place where I did not only felt peace but also happiness, satisfaction, the presence of God and also the connection the we all established once we stepped into Paradise Community Church. I truly miss worship especially the people that I spent it with, it makes me wonder when I would be able to do it again, it may take a few years before I set foot in Adelaide again but I shall never lose hope and never give up instead take this opportunity as another experience that God has given me, I have no idea what he wants me to do from this point but I do know that “everything happens for a reason” and this experience may only be a start of something good and eventually into something better. Now, my main priority is to study commercial cooking and maybe work part-time in a call centre and then sometime soon I hope that I get the qualification that I need in order to come back to Adelaide, frankly I would say that I never felt as much love from people back in Adelaide. I did consider my friends in Adelaide as my true family after all.

The past few days, I haven’t been too happy with anything and it feels like everything is just doing my head in. I find myself avoiding everyone and always keeping to myself, looking through hundreds of photos that I took back in Adelaide, it somehow makes me feel that I’m still back there. Two days ago, I decided to go for a long walk and I found myself in the jetty where me and my cousins back in the days used to jump off and swim and catch small crabs from the massive boulders but I came to a place that I now don’t recognise, this place has changed a lot and instead of giving me peace of mind and the chance to reminisce my happy childhood years, it gave me the complete opposite. There are far too many people living near the beach now which resulted into improper garbage disposal, the beach has become really dirty and the place now has a very unpleasant stench, it seemed like this ones used to be a beautiful place has been taken for granted and it’s a shame to lose such a beautiful place where I always used to go to, to get away from the everyday life. But as I have been told by my grandma, these improper actions of people living around here has taken its toll, a couple of months ago whilst I was still back in Australia, a typhoon struck the beach side and chopped the jetty into almost half, mother nature had her revenge and has given a sign that she is not happy for what has been done.

After seeing this horrible scenario, I went for a walk again and this time finding myself in front of a net café and as I sit down in front of the Computer screen I find myself asking “I wonder who or what would make my day today?” I went on facebook and then on Skype where I was instantly greeted by my cousin from USA who I haven’t seen for almost 12 years. I was surprised as it would have been 4 o’clock in the morning in USA by that time, she told me that she had been waiting for me to go online, there and then found myself looking up and whispering to God “Thank you! This has made my day.” We chatted for almost three hours almost about everything, we educated each other about Australian and American slang words, talked about Will Smith rapping back in the days and Lady Gaga being a hermaphrodite, yes the weirdest things came up in our conversation but I found myself happy and contented. I went home and went straight to bed and there was a smile on my face, one that I could not stop doing. God is awesome and he will always be there to answer our prayers and this has been proven after having such a long and good chat with Peter last night. I just hope it all works out for him and I’m sure it will. Now I wonder if God would answer my prayers about that beach that has now been devastated, I guess it will all just take time.





And also I wonder what the next few days would bring, I think I’ll just have to wait and see. After all, “good things come to the people who wait.”

looking back..

Had such a good conversation today with grandma and auntie. We were talking while flipping through photos, it was such a great time to sit down and reminisce about my childhood years, the times where all i did was play, eat and laugh and where there was never a time that i had to worry or stress about anything. *sigh i wish i had those days again.

While flipping through photos, I found these..


Grandma said it was on a Christmas day. It must have been a very long time ago because I hardly ever remember anything from that day but it must also have been a good day, everyone seems happy. I asked Grandma if Mom was still alive then, she said no, it was upsetting but she followed by saying that she was a very beautiful person inside and out although she cried too much, that made me smile. Auntie also said that it's a shame that she didn't get to see us, now that we are all grown up. hrrmmm I miss her.


Here's a challenge, try to spot the young me! I bet you'll never figure out

keeping sane

9.19 am, just woke up. Currently listening to one of the best Utada Hikaru song called "Passion" and over a cup of Hot Chocolate, i begin to write this blog.

Every morning, I find myself annoyed as I am constantly wakened up starting from 6:30 in the morning all through 9:00 in the morning. Every morning here is like a noise barrage, wether it’s my two brothers constantly banging the door when they walk in and out of my room or put the TV on full blast or it’s the lady next door constantly yelling at her kids or my auntie waking me up to have breakfast (at 7.00 in the morning) or a school band having a parade outside of our house banging their big drums and the annoying xylophone OR it's people from somewhere around our street singing karaoke (at 8:00 in the morning, I mean who does that?? It is becoming struggle to keep sane and it is becoming a constant fight in order to achieve my precious eight hour sleep, I find myself constantly deprived.

It is now Friday and time for me to take advantage of slacking off and doing non-productive things as in three days, I’ll be back in the real world, back to the city. It’s a tough world out there; I don’t know how I am going to survive the terrible air and noise pollution that Manila brings upon people. But one thing has to be done and it is to stay strong and motivated. Someday, I will pull through and someday I will be back to that place which I considered home, back to the people whom I considered family. It will all just take time.



gah/
This blog is becoming a blog full of whining. I need to lighten up more.

happy thoughts

it's always just good to sit down and reminisce with some of the most special people about the days we've had back then.
it's about time to become optimistic, remain positive and motivated

and always remember that I am never forgotten

today i watched this movie:



"Don't ever let anyone say that you can't do anything, if you want something. Go and get it!"


those words were quite inspiring indeed.

60 days later

2 months later
and it already feels like i'm forgotten

i know it sounds emo
but isn't it understandable to feel that way?

time and distance does change a lot
even friendship..

enough said.

i want to get away.

i feel like jumping out of the plane again.
literally.

as i sit down and reminisce..

Currently listening to the song “Hey Ya – Obadiah Parker (Acoustic)” Yes, it is indeed the revival of the Outkast song also called Hey Ya, only I prefer the Obadiah Parker version better. Not only that his version is acoustic, it is also slow and mellow which is more suitable for the song as I later realised that the lyrics of the song was actually beautiful. As this song was slower than the original version, it gave me the chance to hear the lyrics thoroughly and very much enjoyed the song’s meaning and its significance, I learnt to appreciate the song better than the previous version. It just proves that when things are turned into slow motion, things just turn out better as we can enjoy each time and moment and savour each time without having to rush anything. Now I just wished that was the scenario when I was back in Adelaide, back there I just never had enough time and here in the Philippines I have all the time in the world but what the hell is the point? When I don’t have any use for that time anymore? *deep sigh* Well maybe I do but my motivation now is beneath zero and never feel the urge to do anything.

Anyway, today I went through my things and tried to organise. As I went through my stuff, I found my memory bag. Yes, I called this bag the memory bag as this bag contains all the things that people gave me to remember them by. Some I kept from those random events and some from those events that I wanted to remember.

Andy Heng
This kabooden (however you spell it) reminded me of me and Andy’s TB-ing days. Days when we call each other up to go to town after school, days when he gets pissed off at me because I take too long to get to town which made him miss a fight. The day when we were both cracking up at Jason’s story as he was telling us how he smacked some guy with a kabooden. Days when we find ourselves being bums at Jason’s place and especially those damn old days when we called ourselves ||sm.cg|| Damn! those sweet memories.

Marie Janeen Directo
WHAT THE? Holy crap! That scared the crap out of me... Not her name and definitely not her... As I write this I was looking at the photo and if you look closer there’s a foot! *awkward pause* and within a few seconds I realised that it was my own foot *sigh* Anyway back to the subject, I found a few stuff that reminded me of the days we had together. The most important one I would say was Gilmore, the teddy bear she gave me for Christmas. This was actually a present she gave me in return a year later for the present I gave her which was Sebastian, also a teddy bear. This may sound incredibly corny but the teddy bears actually symbolises mine and her presence for one another, because despite the fact that we’re not always there for each other physically, we are still always there for each other mentally. And LOL I found the toy we bought from Hungry Jacks, the plastic wrapper still remains unopened.

Joshua Sommerville
The monkey keychain, it just reminded me of how often I was paid out by this mofo. I remember the day that he gave it to us; Nadia got the Princess Peach keychain because it meant she was the princess. Josh was Yoshi for no apparent reason, most likely because he liked the name and I’ve got Donkey Kong keychain for obvious reasons… The smokes were not particularly given to me by him, but are just a tribute, we were meant to have one last smoke before I left Adelaide but didn’t get the chance to (don’t get the wrong idea! I have not touch a single cigarette for 5 months now) It also symbolises those days in school, this chemical called nicotine served us three (meaning me, Josh and Tuan) as a stress reliever for those headfudged (one of those typical Josh words) days and also for those happy drunken nights that we all had together and also for those random days and nights that we all had (no details) without it, I wouldn’t of met a lot of great people whom I now consider family.

Linda Abouassali
Those letters that we left for each other to read about how are days have gone and just to write about the most random stuff that we can think about, it’s a small thought but from time to time it makes my day. White Chicks, our favourite movie, we constantly impersonate the actors from the movie and crack up the funniest quotes from the movie. The most popular one I would say was her mom saying “what a beautiful chocolate man!” she says it almost every shift that I had but it never grows old. And the red bracelet, that allowed people to consume alcohol during my going away party, I was proud of her as she remained patient the whole night despite all the annoyance that she had to put up with. I would say that night was one of the best nights I had in Adelaide although I hardly remember anything. I also remember those days when everything just went incredibly unpleasant and when the rest of the world walked out on me, her and her family remained to be there.

Peter Li
That turtle that he gave me randomly, apparently he made it in woodwork in Year 9 (correct me if I’m wrong) The turtle reminded me of those Friday nights which used to be a day for going to town but was replaced by going to worship. I don’t regret a single bit of making a big change to my normal Friday night routine, as this opportunity gave me a greater chance to get to know God better. I have been unfaithful to God for quite sometime and even blamed him for the unpleasant experiences that I had while I’m living in this world but going to worship gave me another chance to establish a connection with God. Friday nights just made me feel a lot better as person and also as a child of God, it gave me relief and clarity for everything that has been happening. It opened up my eyes and made me learn that God has plans for us and we just have to remain faithful. It also gave me an amazing opportunity to meet such an awesome bunch of people. I am more than grateful to Peter for introducing me to such an incredible place to spend my Friday nights. How I just wish that there’s more of that here in the Philippines because I am sure as hell that I need some great preaching to boost my motivation.

Jacqueline Tay
Sticker photos, crepe and pho are the sure way to spend a day with Jacqui. Those sticker photos were my first and which was the first time I have ever stepped into a sticker photo booth. Tram has tried a dozen of times to drag me into a sticker photo booth but it just does not work. You may say that Jacqui convinced me easily but that was never the case, she had to cry, whine and stomp her feet all the way from China Town, then along King William Street and through Rundle Mall but still I remained unconvinced. I sat down in front of Myer and acted as the biggest TB until she literally dragged me out of my seat all the way to Cutie and of course I was pulling her back but while she’s pulling my hand she was still constantly whining LOL ^___^” then I finally gave in and lost my sticker photo virginity *sigh* After that, I just never thought of having your photo taken by a machine was such a big deal anymore and I can not wait to have crepe and pho again with this person.

Hamish Pettigrew
The eagle necklace that he gave me before I left Adelaide; I consider it as one of the important things that I now posses and also add the fact that Eagles actually symbolises power, made it even more special. The memories that me and Hamish shared would always be remembered although majority of times we are both off our faces. And wether it’s just to have a few drinks at Torrens Park or at an Asian Karaoke Bar or even just to chill at Andy D’s house, we always manage to turn it to a pretty fucking amusing night (apologies for the swearing). Hamish’s fondness with the Asian culture, Asian friends and particularly Asian women makes him a unique Caucasian person, I even recall him saying “I maybe Caucasian but I am Asian in the heart.” This started the word Cauc-ASIAN (emphasise the word Asian). I will travel with this person to Japan someday, I just know it would happen.

Nadia Kanochkina
Those funny photos that she told me to keep in my wallet, she has a habit of making the funniest faces while being taken a photo even when taken photos for her passport, that photo above serves as a proof. I remember about two years ago after the Year 11 semi-formal we went to the beach and we took the most disgusting photo of me and her, and the fact that we were not even posing made it even worse. I also remember hanging around at a petrol station (woah! it sounded like I just paid out myself) with a couch on a trailer and looking like the biggest hobos, she was doing her own little dance and also copying Cindy’s retarded looking exercise (apparently it works but I highly doubt it) while waiting for Josh to come back with indicator lights for the trailer and for some random reason we came up with a game which involves us running from the petrol station all the way to the lights at the corner of the street, it proved to us that boredom can actually make a person do something so stupid. She then proceeds and continued to do her stupid slash retarded slash dance slash exercise. Then a group of people started rocking up with the best cars you can possibly get in Adelaide (e.g. S-15, R34 Skyline etc.) We tried not to be embarrassed as much as we can and I assumed that they were people that I did not know, and then Josh rocked up in Kylie’s old school Toyota which made it an even more embarrassing scenario. I then, realised that those people were friends from high school and that time I just wanted to bury myself right there and then. That was one of the best memories I had with Nadia.

Kate Zubrinich
The cards reminded me of lunch times at Charles Campbell were we get a group of people to play spoons. We always seemed to be the loudest group in the common room and we find ourselves literally laughing our asses off about the lamest thing that someone would say. Ones we played the usual game of spoons she fully launched into the table just to get herself a spoon, it indeed was a hilarious scenario. She was also my English Class buddy and we both consistently gave the good ol Mrs. Di Manno a whole lot of crap during class. My favourite one I would say is when she gave us a task to cut out newspaper advertisements and talk about them, we both had the exact idea of cutting out sex advertisements and place it on her table and when she came back to the class she found the ads and started saying in a very serious manner “very funny guys, very funny.” We were both looking down at our work and trying not to laugh but we unfortunately did not hold it in and found ourselves bursting into laughter. She is also the first person who I have gotten detention with for not attending class (only thing I was the only one who got the detention and she didn’t) and also for the majority of the year we both spent our English lecture in the common room instead of the actual class. Before I left Adelaide, we both promised that if we are not married by the time we are both 25 that we will marry each other in order for me to come back to Australia.

Tram Le
That day that I randomly went pass her work at Tea Tree Plaza (If you guys did not know, she literally gets paid for being a bum in TTP) she gave me a Dog Tag as a very late birthday present (Take note, she was the last person who greeted me happy birthday and was also the last person who gave me a birthday present) well it was meant to be something that I get from the shop for free but we had a deal that it was a birthday present instead. I stayed in the shop for a bit as she was incredibly bored, we started having price tag fights and started sticking it onto each other then we started writing random stuff to each other, that’s when that cardboard writing above takes place. I don’t remember what I wrote but I assume it would be something like ding dong kid and as you can see she wrote you’re gay! =P  tramhamjam. The small photo was from the OLSH graduation, it was held at the Hilton Hotel. This event gave me the opportunity to meet a few other OLSHIES, after the graduation we headed to Buddha Bar, assuming that Kylie got everything organised turns out that it was a big flop as there were a few underage people which includes me and we could not get in so we headed to the Korean Bar in Hindley Street instead. I will always remember Tram and her singing… more specifically screaming her head off in the microphone. Spending time with Tram and her group always turns out great, I sometimes wonder why but Victoria came up with the best answer and apparently it’s because of Tommy’s presence and it is indeed.

Johnnie Cavero
Those footlocker tags reminded me of shitloads of Filipino Christmas Parties we attended last year. We both worked for a Filipino lady to do farm work at a rose farm in Gawler, the job was tough which made me and him give up after two days (technically he gave up after a day and a half). A week later we were both invited to a party that my boss organised, it was a good party in a Filipino way (meaning there’s lots of food), we both also got paid on that day so we decided to bum around in Elizabeth Shopping Centre, we checked out Foot Locker and I ended up buying two pairs of Converse for $170 (pretty cheap I thought until someone told me that I can get them for $50 a pair *deep sigh*) Anyways while the sales person was busy trying to find my size of shoes, Johnnie was also busy ganking footlocker tags (how lame) but yeah to face the fact that his dad and my dad are best friends, made our friendship even stronger.

Cher-lynne Wee & Sarah Krasnov
Both special and unique in their individual ways, it was a shame I only spent a bit of time with them but in that bit of time, I’ve gotten to know them both. It felt like I’ve known them for a long time and I found a lot from them. Before I left Cherie gave me a bunch of songs and here I am listening to each one everyday. She also gave me a keychain that has a very significant meaning, four coins that says: Jesus, Power, Life and Chance and each word don’t need any explanation, each one says enough. Before I left Sarah and Cherie gave me that blue smiling person with an Australian flag in it which in both hands holds a piece of paper. I did not read the note until I got to Malaysia and both letters were short but sweet indeed. They both are just two of the awesome people that I have gotten to know better through worship and each time I hear the song Mr. Brightside, it just reminds me of Cherie and those random karaoke nights which only involves four people. In that short span of time that I’ve gotten to know them both, we have formed an extraordinary bond in which I would look forward to have again until that day arrives.

Lynette Abouassali, Sezgi Erken, Baz Abouassali & the Najjars Café crew
The bracelet she gave me just reminded me of everything that happened while I was working at Najjars Café. She almost stood up as my own mother, well she acted like one and I treated her like one, I have so much respect for her and I look up to everything that she does in life. Most events that I organised (Random dinner nights, Going away party and Farewell Dinner) involve the café and of course the Lyn, Sez and Baz had been more than willing to help me in anyway that they could, and they did in every way. I am very happy and grateful that they were there in my life because without them I wouldn’t be motivated to do anything at all. These guys also organised numerous events (Dinner in China Town, Lunch in Hahndorf, Staff/ Going away party) which I never had any clue of. Linda and Baz are very lucky to have Lynette as a mother and I was lucky enough to have them in my life as well

Victoria Kyriakopolous, Vy Nguyen, Tommy Dinh, Tran Htran, Nguyen Tran Vy, Tanie & Kylie Tach & Chierkh Ly
You have not seen random yet if you have not met this bunch of people. Is Sudoku toilet paper random or what?? What about a book mark that says Adelaide, Australia but out the back says Made in the Philippines? I would say it is random indeed. Each time I spend a night with these guys, everything just turns out right and we all go home happy. Wether it’s just to sing at a karaoke bar, eat AB, have dinner or have a massive cruise around the hills. This group always just finds something to do and I do appreciate every single moment that we have all spent together.

Desislava Gancheva & Michelle Williams
The book Desi gave me before I left Adelaide “Happiness” is a nice book and the title itself already gives you an idea about what the book is all about. The book is full of optimism and happiness which I would love to have right now. It reminded me of those days when we go hiking up in Morialta Falls and those days when we go to Desi’s house to cook and make sushi. Also the days in high school during Physics when they’re both doing incredibly well and on my part were on the verge of failure but despite that we made a strong friendship with our teacher and all have shared a good year which will never be forgotten.

Shelley Maher & Lee Pham
The serviettes we used to kill boredom with and named it “Shelley and Vincent’s Day” and her saying “I am going to draw you a pictcha!” was very cute indeed. It usually takes part when we both finished our shifts at Najjars Café and also after the Aroma Fresh Coffee Course where you dreaded to go to. I also remember the time when we went to Fantastic Furniture and you started singing the advertisement song non-stop and when we also went to Wok-In-A-Box and ended up missing atleast quarter of an hours worth of our coffee course. I will remember the day that we all got slaughtered while working during mother’s day (we all wanted to be dead during that day). Bruce, I was going to give you that hug you’ve always wanted if you arrived on time at the airport but too bad, you missed out XD next time? I remember those days after our Sunday shifts and we go eat Pho and we went for a cruise in Windy Point. The MR2 cruise was a complete failure and that guy’s way of talking just did my head in but the thing that I would always remember is the day we all jumped off the plane only to realise that it wasn’t even as scary compared to what happened on the way back to the café when we almost died because of a near car accident. If you guys ask, I do feel like Ying Chow.

Ana Preka & Rajna Parenta
I remember going to Maccas, Subway, Hungry Jacks or KFC every lunch time without being caught by the teacher. I remember having random conversations with Ana during supervised studies in the library where we both just gets constantly get told off by the librarian for being loud. The hilarious impersonations that we make of Black Americans, I love it when you say “HELL NO!” it makes me crack up. The day before formal when we talked about wearing purple, I and Ana did wear purple but Rajna ended up with black. Also the day before muck up day, we chased up a few teachers to finish off our last minute Summative work and we went to Home Ec. and I stole that rat so that I’d remember that day. During muck up day when we dressed up as army people and we bought water pistols and started spraying it everywhere. I really do miss those days.

Kelly O’Neil
Revelry-Kings of Leon is the song that reminds me of her, we had many good memories together especially A-team days and Wednesdays at the UniBAR and buying and wearing the purple top and having an argument that it’s fluoro not pastel (I still think it’s fluoro by the way). Having dinner at Ky Chow and she wanted to order Salt and Pepper Squid and thought that it was Asian enough but out of curiosity we ended up having Drunken Chicken instead. We also had those drunken Saturday night phone conversations and random text messages, my going away party where we were both extremely intoxicated. And lastly the Year 12 formal where she made it very special and where she looked beautiful, and indeed she always looks beautiful. I miss her, I always will.



3,798 words, 6 Microsoft Word pages and 5 hours later I finally finished this blog. I still have a lot of time to kill until I finally reach the day that I become reunited with all these people. I can not wait for that day to arrive but by that time a lot of things would be changed but one thing’s for sure, that our memories would stay the same, would remain untouched and unchanged and will always be remembered.