a letter from the anonymous

one more day in the country side
i decided to make the best out of it.. went to church today
and went to have halo halo (a filipino dessert) with some friends,
cousins and brother also i decided to clean around my mom's grave
and cleared all the weeds. it was an eventful day.

tomorrow i'll be back in the city, i'm not looking forward to it
but i needed to make a start sooner or later and i decided that the day
would be tomorrow. sometime today i was looking through stuff on my computer
and tried to see if i can find something that would motivate me. i found heaps of photos and it did bring back many good memories... but then i found a letter, a letter from a good friend who i'd just rather name anonymous in order to keep the privacy.

"Vince its been a pleasure having you with us the past 3 months.
We got to know eachother better and shared many fun moments. Your a great friend and im glad i had the opportunity to get to know you better. I feel so bad and sorry that your leaving, nobody should have to go through this, and i know you have to stay strong for your brother but at times like this, when you have unanswered questions and many angered thoughts and sadness which may suround your days, there is someone out there, above all who you can talk to. Give him a chance, you've oredy accepted him into your life, which is the best decision you've made. Lean on him, talk to him, love him, worship him, and praise him. Because he has all the answers you'll ever need, he'll provide for you, love you, give you everything in his kingdom.
Over the past 3 months you've help build my confidence, singing at karaoke, and funked up my mind trying to get me back with Cherie, but i gues this is the end of that. and i thank you for putting up with our familys constant mocking, and for sticking up for me with the cherie thing that got you and michael into an arguement.
Church has been amazing with you around, It was Gods decision to make me bring you to church, and now ive done that, ive set you back on track, and now its up to you to keep him before everything else. It works, put him first and he'll give you everything that you ask for and more. Its hard and its confusing but one day you'll truly understand why its so vitally important to put him above all things.
I can say that it was the devils doing in parting you with your friends and new families, but no matter what his done, God will always have a plan and a purpose for you, this may not have been his plan but he has a purpose for you. You have potential, speak out to the crowd, change peoples lives just like we've changed yours and just like the message in service, go through Gods fridge anytime you want, you have the authority to heal others and bless people around you.
We're all going to miss you very much, i think ive grown acustomed to you sleeping in my room, its going to be alot more quite and lonely now. but i thank you for being an awsome friend, for coming to church, for eating with me and my friends, for getting to know my friends, for nagging me about cherie, for playing the rating game with me, for karaoke nights, for doing sit ups with me, for everything. your a very special person, especially to God, and although we part now, we'll cross paths again if you keep following God, because me, Cherie, Zoe, Cheryl, Elysia and Melissa will always follow God, and one day we'll definiatly meet.
Your going to have it hard over there and thigns arent going to go the way you hope, and its going to be hard making new friends, so at times like this, talk to God, get to know him better and his purpose for you will provide you the equipment the spirit, the mentality and physical strength you need. Always follow God no matter what the devil puts in your head, no matter the situation, because rememebr God gave his son too, he will always understand.
Jacky wants to use the computer now, i have to leave it at this, but thanks for being a special friend. im very dissapointed that your leaving, we'll keep in touch and crying helps. (Y)

may you be blessed by the Lord always. i'll see you soon.
much love: Anonymous"

this letter did boost my confidence and motivated me to make a start. to the person who wrote this, you know who you are and to be honest if God would give me a chance to have another brother, it would be you. may you be blessed by the Lord as well and i will definitely see you soon. take care!

kagandahan

that word when translated in english, it means beauty

today i had the chance to listen to eminem's latest song
and i'm actually surprised that the song made a lot of sense
no offence to eminem but most of his songs are full of crap

in my shoes, just to see
what its like, to be me
ill be you, lets trade shoes
just to see what id be like
to feel your pain, you feel mine
go inside eachothers minds
just to see what we'd find
look at shit through each others eyes
don't let them say you aint beautiful
they can all get fucked just stay true to you
dont matter saying you aint beautiful
they can all get fucked just stay true to you





amazing is'nt it??

revelry

&& she was the one who all along had a hold of his heart
but all the while she was dreaming of revelry...

eternal love

WE GOT RESCUED BY A MUTE AND A DEAF TODAY!
curious?

well we locked ourselves out of our house with no keys (good work granma!) but my uncle who happens to be deaf decided to grab a ladder and pull out the slides from our window one by one and then a mute kid (i did not know that he was mute until the whole thing finished) decided to help us out. my uncle did a few sign language (well i thought it was from the look of it) and off he goes, he climbed the ladder, went through the small opening in the window and opened the door and there, a mute and deaf saved the day!

just proves that all of us are worthy whatever our circumstance may be.
&& that no circumstance nor disabilities should prevent us from doing what we want to do and lastly, God loves us all (that phrase should sum it all up)

p.s. at the end of it all, they showed a two thumbs up to each other (Y)(Y) and it made me smile.

make it happen

"smile like you mean it!
you never know,
it might do you something good"

my older brother's flight for Australia is in an hour
it's a strange feeling that i have right now.. we never got a long but i hate the fact that we're all going to be separated again. my older brother will be back in Australia, my little brother will be here in the province, finishing his last year of high schooling and then there's me whose going to the city in order to begin the unfolding the mystery that lies ahead of me, to start a new phase in my life. but even though that this will be the case, there's no room for giving up now. i'd say bring it on! let's do this mother!

to my older brother, i wish that you have a safe flight back home... i wish you and my future sister in law the best of everything and all the happiness in this world! bon voyage!


to both of my brothers,
where ever we may be. let's not fail to make her proud, shall we??

time travel

its my family photo
mom was still there
and i can tell that we were happy.
i wonder what happened?
it all seems different now,
not just different but destroyed.

i just wish i can time travel
and relive the days when things were a lot better

P.S. thanks ate jane for sending me this photo
it really meant a lot btw i miss you

la ratatouille

"change is nature.the part that we can influence
and it starts when we decide"

i'm so keen into meeting the person who makes all the speeches from Disney movies..
they somehow always tend to capture me

being faithful.

“Something good may have been taken away from your hands
But keep your head up, because it’s just been emptied
In order for it to receive something better.”

It is indeed a time for a fresh start, a new beginning and a start of a new revelation of a chapter in my life, this is the opportunity to witness as a new mystery unfolds ahead of me. I should not give up, I should not be a pessimist, instead grab this opportunity with both of my bare hands in order to start something better. Why should I give up now? When I have gotten this far? And with God next to me helping me throughout this journey, impossible does not exist.

“My God is mighty to save, he is mighty to save!”

where love lasts forever

i've already been to paradise
yes i have seen it..
there in a place.. where my beloved people dwell
the place is called Adelaide
and it's where the love lasts forever..

&& they all lived happily ever after..

These past few days, a lot of things were to be thanked for. God has been great to my family, my older brother recently got his visa granted by the Australian government and is now destined to come back to Australia in a few days, I am both happy and jealous for him. Happy because he will now be reunited with his fiancée and is about to enter a life of a married couple, also jealous because it may take a few years for me to come back and I am already dying to see my friends back in Adelaide, also my younger brother and his team won championship in basketball, their games were awesome and they played really well, I was a real proud brother when I saw him receiving his gold medal. Now I couldn’t help but think when would I get mine?

These past few days may have been great for my brothers but horrible on my behalf. A few questions came up into my mind and been having thoughts. I began asking, am I being weak? Was I being less faithful? Am I doing anything wrong? I don’t know but it feels like nothing ever turns out right whilst I’m here. To face the fact that none of my Adelaide friends will be around me for quite some time has been real difficult and has impacted me a great deal. How do I survive? I just want someone to confide with, and I don’t even have that. So there I am, most of the time in an internet café for hours desperately looking for someone to have a normal conversation with, just to get away from the harsh reality of life, to get away from the thought of being here and sometimes just to get away from life itself. I knew that moment when I boarded the plane to the Philippines that life would be a lot harder from that point onwards. I was a big mess that day, a lot of things ran pass my mind but despite that, I held onto the good memories just for me to stop the tears from running out of my eyes. I remember Peter ones saying “You should’ve ran away! Something could have happened and perhaps even a miracle!” and upon hearing those words, similar questions again popped onto my head, was I being that weak? Was I being less faithful? What if God gave me that opportunity to explore the mystery that lies ahead of me? What if God already gave me that opportunity to stay in Adelaide in the arms and care of my beloved? I could have just not boarded the plane and ran away from that situation and I could have stayed in Adelaide for a few more days, weeks, months or even perhaps, years. I remember a preacher in worship ones said that God is always around us and he left us a fridge in which we should just open ourselves without asking for it. Now I realised maybe I should not have been such a bitch and taken that advice.

I recently read Peter’s blog and he’s been having family difficulties lately and from the words and sentences that he wrote it felt like we are both going through the same situation. It’s just at times it makes you think that your friends are more loyal and are more worthy to you than your own family. It bothers me that I find myself asking these questions, How would you cope in a family were instead of them being supportive and motivating they tend to bring you down and make you seem hopeless? How would you care for your family when all you can see is their selfish habits? And when one member can say “you should not be too trusting, even friends can backstab you and be a traitor” to me it’s all just too difficult to put up with. I talked to Anna about this and she said “well they clearly have no idea” and I strongly agree with her. I sometimes wonder and think, why do adults especially parents always think their right? Why do they always seem to portray themselves as the best and perfect example to follow when they clearly show that the things that they are doing are either pathetic or simply just wrong? Is that how much age matters now? Just because you’re older regardless of you being pathetic and unreasonable that you are still right and an individual to follow?? At this certain moment and time I proudly and would happily say that my friends are more of a family than what I actually have (apart from my little brother, a few cousins, uncles and aunties and grandma, they all make an exception). The truth hurts but at the end of the day, honesty indeed is the best policy.

Despite all these, I am still more than grateful to our God. What I had back in Adelaide just proved that God loves me and always will. That day will eventually come, I know and I’m sure that it will come, the day were we will all live happily ever after.

motivate me.

watched the second part of brother bear today, well actually i've seen it before so i'd say that this is my second time watching the film, only i was a lot younger the first time i saw it. this time i found myself actually listening to the words that they were actually saying and not just watching the film as it is.

the movie was real inspirational, each word that were expressed actually made so much sense and were very true.. why can't life be just like how it is in disney movies? i know it's fictional but why can't life just be that way?

these words from the movie will now be remembered forever..
"once you loved someone, they will stay in your heart forever.."


oh those sweet words..
i hope they keep coming
i sure do need a lot of motivation to pull through

also thanks Thuong for always leaving a comment..
i do appreciate each one that you leave on here..

even the jelly fish says so..

i never recall the statement.. "with great happiness
comes great devastation"
i know things will be better in time
but for now all i can say is..


enough said.

katy perry

"comparisons are easily made when you've had a taste of perfection.."

so true..
she finally said something that is worth remembering
and listening to..

the waltz

please, that's enough, that's enough
please, i've said this a million times before
and i'm sick..



new favourite song.. hale indeed is my favourite filipino band, they somehow find words and music that captivates one's senses and they sure did in this one..

honesty is the best policy

heck i'm not going to lie anymore, when i say i'm okay.. i'm most likely lying or i just can not be stuffed explaining why i'm not okay..

all i desire now is to come back home, back to the place where i felt i belong.. back to the place where i felt loved.. back to adelaide.

he is awesome, indeed.

10:04 in the morning, Philippine time and currently listening to “Mighty to Save by Hillsong” Man do I love this song? It reminds me of the worship nights with Peter, Cherie, Sarah, Zoe, Cheryl, Elysia and Melissa. Worship nights would have been one of those experiences that I would never forget.







Not only that I was given the chance to meet such an awesome bunch of people but also it’s only the particular time and place where I did not only felt peace but also happiness, satisfaction, the presence of God and also the connection the we all established once we stepped into Paradise Community Church. I truly miss worship especially the people that I spent it with, it makes me wonder when I would be able to do it again, it may take a few years before I set foot in Adelaide again but I shall never lose hope and never give up instead take this opportunity as another experience that God has given me, I have no idea what he wants me to do from this point but I do know that “everything happens for a reason” and this experience may only be a start of something good and eventually into something better. Now, my main priority is to study commercial cooking and maybe work part-time in a call centre and then sometime soon I hope that I get the qualification that I need in order to come back to Adelaide, frankly I would say that I never felt as much love from people back in Adelaide. I did consider my friends in Adelaide as my true family after all.

The past few days, I haven’t been too happy with anything and it feels like everything is just doing my head in. I find myself avoiding everyone and always keeping to myself, looking through hundreds of photos that I took back in Adelaide, it somehow makes me feel that I’m still back there. Two days ago, I decided to go for a long walk and I found myself in the jetty where me and my cousins back in the days used to jump off and swim and catch small crabs from the massive boulders but I came to a place that I now don’t recognise, this place has changed a lot and instead of giving me peace of mind and the chance to reminisce my happy childhood years, it gave me the complete opposite. There are far too many people living near the beach now which resulted into improper garbage disposal, the beach has become really dirty and the place now has a very unpleasant stench, it seemed like this ones used to be a beautiful place has been taken for granted and it’s a shame to lose such a beautiful place where I always used to go to, to get away from the everyday life. But as I have been told by my grandma, these improper actions of people living around here has taken its toll, a couple of months ago whilst I was still back in Australia, a typhoon struck the beach side and chopped the jetty into almost half, mother nature had her revenge and has given a sign that she is not happy for what has been done.

After seeing this horrible scenario, I went for a walk again and this time finding myself in front of a net café and as I sit down in front of the Computer screen I find myself asking “I wonder who or what would make my day today?” I went on facebook and then on Skype where I was instantly greeted by my cousin from USA who I haven’t seen for almost 12 years. I was surprised as it would have been 4 o’clock in the morning in USA by that time, she told me that she had been waiting for me to go online, there and then found myself looking up and whispering to God “Thank you! This has made my day.” We chatted for almost three hours almost about everything, we educated each other about Australian and American slang words, talked about Will Smith rapping back in the days and Lady Gaga being a hermaphrodite, yes the weirdest things came up in our conversation but I found myself happy and contented. I went home and went straight to bed and there was a smile on my face, one that I could not stop doing. God is awesome and he will always be there to answer our prayers and this has been proven after having such a long and good chat with Peter last night. I just hope it all works out for him and I’m sure it will. Now I wonder if God would answer my prayers about that beach that has now been devastated, I guess it will all just take time.





And also I wonder what the next few days would bring, I think I’ll just have to wait and see. After all, “good things come to the people who wait.”

looking back..

Had such a good conversation today with grandma and auntie. We were talking while flipping through photos, it was such a great time to sit down and reminisce about my childhood years, the times where all i did was play, eat and laugh and where there was never a time that i had to worry or stress about anything. *sigh i wish i had those days again.

While flipping through photos, I found these..


Grandma said it was on a Christmas day. It must have been a very long time ago because I hardly ever remember anything from that day but it must also have been a good day, everyone seems happy. I asked Grandma if Mom was still alive then, she said no, it was upsetting but she followed by saying that she was a very beautiful person inside and out although she cried too much, that made me smile. Auntie also said that it's a shame that she didn't get to see us, now that we are all grown up. hrrmmm I miss her.


Here's a challenge, try to spot the young me! I bet you'll never figure out