please, that's enough, that's enough
please, i've said this a million times before
and i'm sick..
new favourite song.. hale indeed is my favourite filipino band, they somehow find words and music that captivates one's senses and they sure did in this one..
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
honesty is the best policy
heck i'm not going to lie anymore, when i say i'm okay.. i'm most likely lying or i just can not be stuffed explaining why i'm not okay..
all i desire now is to come back home, back to the place where i felt i belong.. back to the place where i felt loved.. back to adelaide.
all i desire now is to come back home, back to the place where i felt i belong.. back to the place where i felt loved.. back to adelaide.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
he is awesome, indeed.
10:04 in the morning, Philippine time and currently listening to “Mighty to Save by Hillsong” Man do I love this song? It reminds me of the worship nights with Peter, Cherie, Sarah, Zoe, Cheryl, Elysia and Melissa. Worship nights would have been one of those experiences that I would never forget.
Not only that I was given the chance to meet such an awesome bunch of people but also it’s only the particular time and place where I did not only felt peace but also happiness, satisfaction, the presence of God and also the connection the we all established once we stepped into Paradise Community Church. I truly miss worship especially the people that I spent it with, it makes me wonder when I would be able to do it again, it may take a few years before I set foot in Adelaide again but I shall never lose hope and never give up instead take this opportunity as another experience that God has given me, I have no idea what he wants me to do from this point but I do know that “everything happens for a reason” and this experience may only be a start of something good and eventually into something better. Now, my main priority is to study commercial cooking and maybe work part-time in a call centre and then sometime soon I hope that I get the qualification that I need in order to come back to Adelaide, frankly I would say that I never felt as much love from people back in Adelaide. I did consider my friends in Adelaide as my true family after all.
The past few days, I haven’t been too happy with anything and it feels like everything is just doing my head in. I find myself avoiding everyone and always keeping to myself, looking through hundreds of photos that I took back in Adelaide, it somehow makes me feel that I’m still back there. Two days ago, I decided to go for a long walk and I found myself in the jetty where me and my cousins back in the days used to jump off and swim and catch small crabs from the massive boulders but I came to a place that I now don’t recognise, this place has changed a lot and instead of giving me peace of mind and the chance to reminisce my happy childhood years, it gave me the complete opposite. There are far too many people living near the beach now which resulted into improper garbage disposal, the beach has become really dirty and the place now has a very unpleasant stench, it seemed like this ones used to be a beautiful place has been taken for granted and it’s a shame to lose such a beautiful place where I always used to go to, to get away from the everyday life. But as I have been told by my grandma, these improper actions of people living around here has taken its toll, a couple of months ago whilst I was still back in Australia, a typhoon struck the beach side and chopped the jetty into almost half, mother nature had her revenge and has given a sign that she is not happy for what has been done.
After seeing this horrible scenario, I went for a walk again and this time finding myself in front of a net café and as I sit down in front of the Computer screen I find myself asking “I wonder who or what would make my day today?” I went on facebook and then on Skype where I was instantly greeted by my cousin from USA who I haven’t seen for almost 12 years. I was surprised as it would have been 4 o’clock in the morning in USA by that time, she told me that she had been waiting for me to go online, there and then found myself looking up and whispering to God “Thank you! This has made my day.” We chatted for almost three hours almost about everything, we educated each other about Australian and American slang words, talked about Will Smith rapping back in the days and Lady Gaga being a hermaphrodite, yes the weirdest things came up in our conversation but I found myself happy and contented. I went home and went straight to bed and there was a smile on my face, one that I could not stop doing. God is awesome and he will always be there to answer our prayers and this has been proven after having such a long and good chat with Peter last night. I just hope it all works out for him and I’m sure it will. Now I wonder if God would answer my prayers about that beach that has now been devastated, I guess it will all just take time.
And also I wonder what the next few days would bring, I think I’ll just have to wait and see. After all, “good things come to the people who wait.”
Not only that I was given the chance to meet such an awesome bunch of people but also it’s only the particular time and place where I did not only felt peace but also happiness, satisfaction, the presence of God and also the connection the we all established once we stepped into Paradise Community Church. I truly miss worship especially the people that I spent it with, it makes me wonder when I would be able to do it again, it may take a few years before I set foot in Adelaide again but I shall never lose hope and never give up instead take this opportunity as another experience that God has given me, I have no idea what he wants me to do from this point but I do know that “everything happens for a reason” and this experience may only be a start of something good and eventually into something better. Now, my main priority is to study commercial cooking and maybe work part-time in a call centre and then sometime soon I hope that I get the qualification that I need in order to come back to Adelaide, frankly I would say that I never felt as much love from people back in Adelaide. I did consider my friends in Adelaide as my true family after all.
The past few days, I haven’t been too happy with anything and it feels like everything is just doing my head in. I find myself avoiding everyone and always keeping to myself, looking through hundreds of photos that I took back in Adelaide, it somehow makes me feel that I’m still back there. Two days ago, I decided to go for a long walk and I found myself in the jetty where me and my cousins back in the days used to jump off and swim and catch small crabs from the massive boulders but I came to a place that I now don’t recognise, this place has changed a lot and instead of giving me peace of mind and the chance to reminisce my happy childhood years, it gave me the complete opposite. There are far too many people living near the beach now which resulted into improper garbage disposal, the beach has become really dirty and the place now has a very unpleasant stench, it seemed like this ones used to be a beautiful place has been taken for granted and it’s a shame to lose such a beautiful place where I always used to go to, to get away from the everyday life. But as I have been told by my grandma, these improper actions of people living around here has taken its toll, a couple of months ago whilst I was still back in Australia, a typhoon struck the beach side and chopped the jetty into almost half, mother nature had her revenge and has given a sign that she is not happy for what has been done.
After seeing this horrible scenario, I went for a walk again and this time finding myself in front of a net café and as I sit down in front of the Computer screen I find myself asking “I wonder who or what would make my day today?” I went on facebook and then on Skype where I was instantly greeted by my cousin from USA who I haven’t seen for almost 12 years. I was surprised as it would have been 4 o’clock in the morning in USA by that time, she told me that she had been waiting for me to go online, there and then found myself looking up and whispering to God “Thank you! This has made my day.” We chatted for almost three hours almost about everything, we educated each other about Australian and American slang words, talked about Will Smith rapping back in the days and Lady Gaga being a hermaphrodite, yes the weirdest things came up in our conversation but I found myself happy and contented. I went home and went straight to bed and there was a smile on my face, one that I could not stop doing. God is awesome and he will always be there to answer our prayers and this has been proven after having such a long and good chat with Peter last night. I just hope it all works out for him and I’m sure it will. Now I wonder if God would answer my prayers about that beach that has now been devastated, I guess it will all just take time.
And also I wonder what the next few days would bring, I think I’ll just have to wait and see. After all, “good things come to the people who wait.”
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
looking back..
Had such a good conversation today with grandma and auntie. We were talking while flipping through photos, it was such a great time to sit down and reminisce about my childhood years, the times where all i did was play, eat and laugh and where there was never a time that i had to worry or stress about anything. *sigh i wish i had those days again.
While flipping through photos, I found these..
Grandma said it was on a Christmas day. It must have been a very long time ago because I hardly ever remember anything from that day but it must also have been a good day, everyone seems happy. I asked Grandma if Mom was still alive then, she said no, it was upsetting but she followed by saying that she was a very beautiful person inside and out although she cried too much, that made me smile. Auntie also said that it's a shame that she didn't get to see us, now that we are all grown up. hrrmmm I miss her.
Here's a challenge, try to spot the young me! I bet you'll never figure out
While flipping through photos, I found these..
Grandma said it was on a Christmas day. It must have been a very long time ago because I hardly ever remember anything from that day but it must also have been a good day, everyone seems happy. I asked Grandma if Mom was still alive then, she said no, it was upsetting but she followed by saying that she was a very beautiful person inside and out although she cried too much, that made me smile. Auntie also said that it's a shame that she didn't get to see us, now that we are all grown up. hrrmmm I miss her.
Here's a challenge, try to spot the young me! I bet you'll never figure out
Friday, July 31, 2009
keeping sane
9.19 am, just woke up. Currently listening to one of the best Utada Hikaru song called "Passion" and over a cup of Hot Chocolate, i begin to write this blog.
Every morning, I find myself annoyed as I am constantly wakened up starting from 6:30 in the morning all through 9:00 in the morning. Every morning here is like a noise barrage, wether it’s my two brothers constantly banging the door when they walk in and out of my room or put the TV on full blast or it’s the lady next door constantly yelling at her kids or my auntie waking me up to have breakfast (at 7.00 in the morning) or a school band having a parade outside of our house banging their big drums and the annoying xylophone OR it's people from somewhere around our street singing karaoke (at 8:00 in the morning, I mean who does that?? It is becoming struggle to keep sane and it is becoming a constant fight in order to achieve my precious eight hour sleep, I find myself constantly deprived.
It is now Friday and time for me to take advantage of slacking off and doing non-productive things as in three days, I’ll be back in the real world, back to the city. It’s a tough world out there; I don’t know how I am going to survive the terrible air and noise pollution that Manila brings upon people. But one thing has to be done and it is to stay strong and motivated. Someday, I will pull through and someday I will be back to that place which I considered home, back to the people whom I considered family. It will all just take time.
gah/
This blog is becoming a blog full of whining. I need to lighten up more.
Every morning, I find myself annoyed as I am constantly wakened up starting from 6:30 in the morning all through 9:00 in the morning. Every morning here is like a noise barrage, wether it’s my two brothers constantly banging the door when they walk in and out of my room or put the TV on full blast or it’s the lady next door constantly yelling at her kids or my auntie waking me up to have breakfast (at 7.00 in the morning) or a school band having a parade outside of our house banging their big drums and the annoying xylophone OR it's people from somewhere around our street singing karaoke (at 8:00 in the morning, I mean who does that?? It is becoming struggle to keep sane and it is becoming a constant fight in order to achieve my precious eight hour sleep, I find myself constantly deprived.
It is now Friday and time for me to take advantage of slacking off and doing non-productive things as in three days, I’ll be back in the real world, back to the city. It’s a tough world out there; I don’t know how I am going to survive the terrible air and noise pollution that Manila brings upon people. But one thing has to be done and it is to stay strong and motivated. Someday, I will pull through and someday I will be back to that place which I considered home, back to the people whom I considered family. It will all just take time.
gah/
This blog is becoming a blog full of whining. I need to lighten up more.
Monday, July 27, 2009
happy thoughts
it's always just good to sit down and reminisce with some of the most special people about the days we've had back then.
it's about time to become optimistic, remain positive and motivated
and always remember that I am never forgotten
today i watched this movie:
"Don't ever let anyone say that you can't do anything, if you want something. Go and get it!"
those words were quite inspiring indeed.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
60 days later
2 months later
and it already feels like i'm forgotten
i know it sounds emo
but isn't it understandable to feel that way?
time and distance does change a lot
even friendship..
enough said.
and it already feels like i'm forgotten
i know it sounds emo
but isn't it understandable to feel that way?
time and distance does change a lot
even friendship..
enough said.
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